In an effort to enrich the lives of aging populations in developing countries, the American Association for Retired People is launching the new Beat Infirmity Non-Governmental Organization (B-I NGO) this spring. 

Primary activities for those receiving aid will include scrabble and underwater aerobics. In hotter countries, AARP will offer supplemental activities, like sitting around and complaining about the weather.

“Get off my lawn!” said one excited new member. “And make that damn dog stop barking!”

B-I NGO plans to start small, encouraging folks to “drive slowly, with lots of swerving” and “take a walk down the driveway” on days when their knees don’t hurt too much.

“We want to make an impact right from the start,” said AARP CEO Jo Ann Jenkins. “Even if that means just turning up the volume on all of their televisions and seeing what happens.”

Not everyone is a fan of the new project. “Back in my day, we let people take care of themselves,” said AARP founder Leonard Davis, who opposes any change to anything, but especially this one.

The kickoff fundraiser will be held this weekend, with dinner starting at 2:30 p.m.

Image credit: micmrc.org