Hopes for an amicable breakup were dashed on Thursday when sources reported the European Union’s determination to hold onto the Elton John CD collection at all costs post-Brexit.
After 24 years together, Britain announced its intention to leave the EU last June. Once the initial shock and hurt of the breakup had passed (as well as a tiny bit of relief that no one would need to hear a cockney accent ever again), the EU moved quickly to lay claim to the sweet songs of the Grammy Award-winning international superstar and king of funky glasses.