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Breaking

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Class

Most Confident Man Alive Eats Full Meal in Class

CAMBRIDGE, MA - As Jason Lennon 20’ committed his usual massacre of 18 hard boiled eggs and a cruciferous vegetable assembly during his 9am lecture on "The Responsibilities of Public Action", the brunch’s miasmic vapor caused Jason to be the most hated person in the room while simultaneously ruining the carpeting in Emerson 210 for the rest of eternity.

Hey! Just Wondering If You Had Any Time Today to Do Your Fucking Job

Hey there! Just reaching out to see where you are in finishing your part of the project that counts for 30% of our grade lol. I know you’ve been like super busy lately, or at least I assume that’s why you haven’t responded to any of us for the last four fucking days, but I just wanted to touch base with you and make sure everything is ok! :P And if you have time today, it’d be super awesome if you could do your goddamn fucking job.

#NotSemiticPhilology151 Reports Overwhelming Success

CAMBRIDGE, MA—In what its organizers have declared “a breakthrough moment,” the grassroots movement #NotSemiticPhilology151 is taking credit for the minuscule number of students registering for this fall’s session of Introduction to Northwest Semitic Epigraphy.

Soledad O’Brien: “Cee Lo Green Should Be Class Day Speaker, Not Me”

Despite a warm invitation from her alma-mater Harvard College, award-winning journalist Soledad O’Brien has turned down the opportunity to be this year’s Class Day Speaker, citing concerns that she was unfit for the occasion, and suggesting that “Cee Lo Green should be Class Day speaker, not me."