and entering

Drew Faust

Dean Khurana Auditions to be an Eleganza Model

Cambridge, MA – To the shock of many students and administrators,  Dean of Harvard College Rakesh Khurana announced yesterday that he had auditioned to be an Eleganza model.

“I’ve actually been considering the career move to modeling for quite some time now,” Khurana admitted, citing his flourishing Instagram account for giving him the “confidence and self-assurance” to fulfill his life-long goal of taking to the runway.

Announcing the President's Challenge 2016: A Duel with Drew Faust and Alan Garber

Dear Members of the Harvard Community,

Inspired By Khurana Reflection Email, Spee Club Changes Punch Policy

Early Friday morning, the Spee Club-- one of Harvard's eight all-male final clubs-- announced that its members had voted to welcome all genders in the club's upcoming punch. According to Spee Club president Matthew E. Lee '16, the members were inspired to reflect on their club's longstanding policies after reading Dean Rakesh Khurana's latest email calling for reflection.

An Open Letter to Drew Faust from Digress Harvard

Dear President Faust:

Drew Faust Covers Herself in Crude Oil, Slips Past Divest Harvard Protesters

In a successful attempt to get past the Divest Harvard blockade of her office, on Tuesday morning Harvard President Drew G. Faust covered herself in crude oil and ran through the crowd of protesters.

“We tried to stop her, but we couldn’t get a good hold on her,” lamented Divest Harvard co-coordinator Talia Rothstein ’17. “She was just too damn slippery.”

"We didn't even notice her before it was too late," added another protester, who asked to remain anonymous. "She was like a shadow. An oily, oily shadow."

In Wake of Hell Freezing Over, Faust Calls Climate Change Panel

Cambridge, MA--Following the news that Hell, a region known for temperatures upwards of 1,000,000°F, has completely frozen over, an occurrence that leading meteorologists around the globe are describing as “super scary and shit,” Harvard University President Drew Gilpin Faust has announced that the school will be hosting a panel on climate change this coming April.