and entering


CS 124 TFs Yet to Return Students' Souls

CAMBRIDGE, MA – In a shocking revelation on Monday, an anonymous CS 124 TF disclosed to Satire V that not a single student of last semester's notoriously difficult algorithms class has managed to recover their soul.

“Going into the course, I knew sacrificing my soul was a required component,” remarked Angela Park '17. “But I guess I just assumed it would be given back at the end. I mean, what kind of life is this?”

Five Tips to Help You Reach Your Thesis Word Requirement

With the deadline for your thesis approaching quickly, here is some sound advice to help you make it through. This article should only take a few minutes to read, so you can get back to typing soon.  


1. Use the social life you have abandoned as source material.

In Wake of Hell Freezing Over, Faust Calls Climate Change Panel

Cambridge, MA--Following the news that Hell, a region known for temperatures upwards of 1,000,000°F, has completely frozen over, an occurrence that leading meteorologists around the globe are describing as “super scary and shit,” Harvard University President Drew Gilpin Faust has announced that the school will be hosting a panel on climate change this coming April.

Winthrop Shuttle Extension To Take Riders Straight To Hell

CAMBRIDGE, MA--- This Sunday, the Harvard Office of Transportation And Parking officially launched an initiative to expand shuttle routes to include a “safe, convenient, and reliable” passage to the eternal fires of Hades.

According to M2 administrators, the Winthrop shuttle, which already operates every fortnight under the blood-red moon, was the logical candidate for the route extension.

Literal Hell to be Offered This Spring

A new course, RELIGION 666a, will be offered this spring, according to the registrar. The class, ‘Literal Hell’, will examine perspectives of hell through immersion, aiming to providing students with a greater understanding of religious stories. Additionally, the course hopes to enable students to sympathize with characters such as Dante, Persephone, and others.