and entering

fake friend

QUIZ: Does This Lady Have a Small Bladder or Just Desperately Want to Leave Your Picnic?

Many a time will women dip out of socially-distanced hangouts, claiming that they have a “small bladder” and need to get home. Take this quiz to see whether your friend is being truthful or not!

How many ounces of water has she consumed throughout the picnic?

a)     5

b)    15

c)     30.5

When you proposed taking a walk around the park, she …

a)     Vehemently declined. “Why can’t we just sit?”

Two Words on Social Media Was Exactly What I Wanted for My Birthday

a facebook "happy birthday!" post

By you know exactly which friend

Hey, BFF! Thank you SO much for your thoughtful birthday post on Facebook.

Honestly, I am moved by the pure simplicity of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Your employment of capital letters and that exclamation point captured your enthusiasm with a level of nuance that definitely could not have been achieved with more words. Huge props for not using any emojis at all. They would have distracted from the whole two words you wrote.