Now that all American adults are eligible to get the vaccine across the country, I've made a list of all the reasons why I'm getting vaccinated to encourage people to go out and get vaccinated too! #ad #modernapartner #pfuckpfizer #vaccinatedbby

-I miss crying in the bathroom at parties on the private island Kim flew me to for her birthday

-I’ve run out of dollar bills to laminate 

-My morning cold brew isn’t giving me the shakes anymore

-I want to see a one man show alone live