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Leaked: Draft of Mark Zuckerberg’s Commencement Speech

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, members of the class of 2017, and lurking members of the class of 2017 Facebook page who actually go to a different school but never removed yourselves from the page:

Thank you for the invitation to speak today. Unfortunately, all the good dropout jokes were taken by Bill Gates. [pause for laughs] That was a funny drop out joke, because both Bill Gates and I dropped out.