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LEAKED: Other Things Harvard Republican Club Refuses to Endorse

A threat to the survival of the Republic
CAMBRIDGE, MA — After refusing to endorse the Republican Presidential Candidate for the first time in 128 years, The Harvard Republican Club has withheld their support from many other things as well. Satire V has obtained an exclusive leaked list of other things the Harvard Republican Club has just recently refused to endorse:
  • Shoes without bootstraps
  • People who show up to black tie affairs in business suits
  • Off brand water crackers
  • Foreign cheeses
  • The field of gender studies
  • Gender
  • Chancellor Palpatine
  • Linens with a thread count of less than 800
  • Safe spaces (except for meetings of the Harvard Republican Club. And tents.)
  • Calligula
  • Eugenics
  • Most instagram filters
  • The Yale Republican Club
  • Sitting next to people on the bus
  • The bus
  • Discussing money without euphemisms
  • Sunny side up eggs
  • West Egg
  • Mulan (1998)
  • Mulan (420-589 CE)
  • Milan
  • Bagel toppings other than smoked salmon
  • The state of Vermont
  • Hufflepuff
  • Monopoly (board game)
  • Polos without a popped collar
  • Non-pastel shorts
  • Any flag besides the American flag
  • Liquor that comes in plastic bottles
  • People without vacation homes
  • White privilege
  • The Wizard of Oz (person)
  • The "+" in LGBTQ+ (the character)
  • Pez
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