and entering


Popular Table at Local High School Reopens After Going Co-Ed

CAMBRIDGE, MA--In a historic move, the popular boys’ table at Cambridge Rindge & Latin School has reopened after inviting girls to sit with them. The decision, which came after weeks of conflict, has been lauded by administrators and many students as a move towards improved gender inclusivity among the school’s cool population. As popular senior Tripp Martin commented, “Yeah, like, I guess we can start letting chicks sit with us at lunch. Whatever.”

Delphic Club will close indefinitely rather than integrate

In a surprise to many the Delphic Club announced Friday that it would close indefinitely rather than be forced to accept a co-ed class of punches.  Standing in a seersucker suit outside the Delphic clubhouse, Grad Board President Harry F. Byrd Sr. ’52 expounded on his new policy of “Massive Resistance.” Byrd explained that the Delphic had a “storied legacy from J.P.