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Kirkland

7 Ways To Fake Working So It Doesn’t Look Like You’re Sitting Alone In The Kirkland Dining Hall

1. Get a table near an outlet to keep your computer charged.

2. Look frustrated while staring intently at the screen, typing at a minimum of 100 wpm as you devour a bowl of Marshmallow Mateys.

3. Spread out multiple books across the table. They can picture books, tabloids, or in igpay atinlay; any book will do.

4. Take a pill bottle and scribble “ADDERALL” across the front with a sharpie. Leave the bottle out in the open for everyone to see.

Kirkland-Eliot Fire Does Not Interrupt Evening Existential Crisis

Cambridge, MA — Though students briefly evacuated Kirkland and Eliot Houses on Monday evening after a small electrical fire broke out, the situation reportedly did not impede students’ regular evening existential crises.