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Satire V38: Triple-Doubles Are Cool and Russell Westbrook Is The Best

 
Although Russell Westbrook averaged a triple-double for the entire series, the Oklahoma City Thunder were eliminated from the first round of the NBA Playoffs last night by James Harden's Houston Rockets.
 
Some have called this the smoking gun that proves that Westbrook's selfish stat-padding and triple-double hunting destroyed the Thunder's chances of contending this season.
 

Jeremy Lin’s Donation Creates Linsanity Professorship of Romance Languages and Literatures

CAMBRIDGE, MA—NBA star Jeremy Lin '10 has announced that his million-dollar donation to Harvard last week will help renovate Lavietes Pavilion, improve financial aid, and create the Linsanity Professorship of Romance Languages and Literatures.

 

NBA Adds Choking Hazard Warnings to Warriors Dolls

OAKLAND, CA--Spurred on by a series of shocking events in Oakland that began this spring and continued yesterday, the NBA has added a “choking hazard” warning to its popular Warriors doll collection, while officials at the Consumer Safety Commission have launched a full-fledged investigation into the dolls.