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World Series

Red Sox Push Forward With “One Player at a Time” Championship Strategy

BOSTON – Following Tuesday night’s World Series victory for Mookie Betts, the Boston Red Sox are 1/25th of the way to their goal of having each player from their 2019 opening day roster win it all. “The easiest way would have obviously been to just win last year,” said CEO Sam Kennedy, “but after that didn’t work out we decided to take it one-by-one, starting with Mookie.”

Mathematicians Find World Series Converges to Boston

FENWAY PARK -- After extensive research on the subject, mathematicians at Northeastern University have determined that the World Series in fact converges to Boston if summed to infinity.

“Much like the geometric series of 1/(2^n) or the near-infinite series of ‘Dunkin stores in Boston,’ after solving for the World Series, we found it converges on Boston nearly every time,” explained head researcher Robert McOwen.

Dude Who Once Ate Deep-Dish Pizza “Unbelievably Proud of My Cubbies”

PORTLAND, OR — Tyler Phillips, a 27-year-old dude who ate deep-dish pizza once, took to Facebook on Saturday to tell his friends how “deeply, truly, unbelievably proud I am of my Cubbies.” He added, “They are not just my Cubbies. They are our Cubbies. They are Chicago’s Cubbies. They are America’s Cubbies.”

Mike Napoli’s Beard Called for Obstruction

BOSTON, MA- In a controversial play that decided Game Six of the 2013 World Series, Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli’s beard was called for obstruction. With the bases loaded in the top of the ninth, Cardinals left fielder Matt Holliday visibly shied away from Napoli’s gargantuan beard. First base umpire Jim Joyce signaled an obstruction call, allowing all runners to advance and the Cardinals to score what would become the winning run.