LONDON- Prince Harry and Duchess Megan’s unborn child is already planning to murder the entire family in order to gain access to the crown. Extensive investigative reporting found plans to first take out the Queen, then slowly machete off each royal family member in line for the throne. 

In an upsetting, but at this point certainly not surprising, act of betrayal against women, Lena Dunham joined multiple female senators in voting “Yes” to confirm Brett Kavanaugh as a Supreme Court justice last week.  

Local man Matthew Jackson, 22, was reportedly disappointed to discover “Lies Feminists Tell” event was not just a list of all the times women have told him they’re not interested.

When he originally heard of the event, he decided that the title alone was enough to pique his interest. “I’ve always known these so-called feminists weren’t telling me the whole truth,” he disclosed. “Now I can finally get proof that when Emma said she ‘just didn’t see me in a romantic way,’ and ‘was too busy with classes to look for anything serious’ she was just lying through her damn teeth.”

By Scott Miller

As a white suburban man with a general predisposition for people like me and a general indifference towards political issues not involving me, I have often been accused of being a “racist” or a “bigot.” Such accusations hurt me deeply, for I am a good person who loves people of all colors. Those who disagree don’t know the real me and don’t know that I, in fact, have black sims.