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For Halloween, Girl to Dress Up as Slutty Disappointment to Her Parents

After a lackluster appearance as a slutty nurse last year, Rachel Myers ’19 has decided to dress up as a slutty disappointment to her parents this Halloween.

During a trip with her roommate to the Garment District—where Myers tried on slutty suffragette, slutty CEO, and slutty goldfish costumes—Myers realized that she should just cut to the chase and go as a slutty disappointment to her parents.

Survey: "2012 Harvard Men’s Soccer Player" This Halloween's Scariest Costume

CAMBRIDGE, MA -- A recent poll conducted by The Crimson shows that the creepiest Halloween costume this year according to students is a "Member of the 2012 Harvard Men’s Soccer Team."

Dean Dingman Refuses To Take Off ‘Sexy SWAT Officer’ Costume

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Sources in the FDO have recently confirmed the worrying rumors that Harvard College Dean of Freshmen Thomas A. Dingman ‘67 has now been wearing the same “Sexy SWAT Officer” costume for upwards of 60 hours without displaying any willingness to change into street clothes or to break character.

Hillary Clinton Going As "Destiny" for Halloween

BROOKLYN, NY-- Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State and current candidate for the 2016 Democratic nomination for President, announced today that she would dress up as "Destiny" for Halloween this year.
 
"Guess. Guess what I am," demanded Clinton at a press conference on Friday
 
"Um, are you President of the United States?" asked NBC reporter Howard Timmons.
 
"No," responded Clinton. "Come now. Be more precise."
 

A Halloween Message from Dean Khurana

Dear Harvard College students,

Why I’m Not Accepting Candy Handouts: An Editorial By Cambridge Middle School Student Randy Mankiw

 

 We all hear it and, as much as we want to deny it, it’s an inevitable fact of life: “You have to grow up.”

And that’s why I’m encouraging my fellow middle school students not to accept candy handouts from the citizens of Cambridge this Halloween season.