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Hasty Pudding Grad Board Considers Meeting with Fathers of Harvard Women to Arrange Casting

Cambridge, MA – Last Sunday, 14 female students signed up to audition for the Hasty Pudding Theatricals, an annual burlesque drag musical, in protest of the all-male cast. 

“We hear the protests and realize that times are changing. The Hasty Pudding is proud to respond to these calls by meeting with the fathers of the auditioning women,” said Andrew Marble, a leader of the grad board. 

Ashton Kutcher Saves Two and a Half Men

In a moment of heroism, actor Asthon Kutcher managed to salvage three men from a brutal train wreck, though one escaped with only his torso intact.

After the driver of the train lost control in a cocaine-fueled rage that derailed the locomotive from its already shaky tracks, Kutcher tried desperately to revive the maimed man with his trademark combination of witty humor and youthful sex appeal.