and entering

making sacrifices

Area PAF “Doesn’t Do It for the Stipend”

CAMBRIDGE, MA--Freshman Move-In Day has come and gone, bringing with it a new wave of eager and naïve first-years, as well as a flood of smiling, t-shirt-wearing, sickeningly sweet upperclassman PAFs, high on the power trip that comes with spending a year as faux proctors.

Privileged White Dude Accepted to Class of 2020 Seriously Reconsidering Gap Year Plans

GREENWICH, CT--Having just completed his transaction to purchase an expensive trip to Uganda, Harvard College Class of 2020 admit Kennedy Marcus is now seriously reconsidering his decision to take a gap year. 

Environmentally Conscious Decision Not To Take Tray Backfires as Plate Actually Very Hot

CAMBRIDGE, MA- Inspired by her house's initiative to move dining hall trays to the back of the hall, Adams sophomore Martha Stahl decided not to take a tray this meal, thereby aligning herself with the best interests of the Earth. However, she quickly came to regret this decision, as the plate she proceeded to touch was really, really hot.