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“Lost Plane” Posters Yield No Results

On March 7, the world and all of us at Satire V were devastated by the information that the Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) lost a Boeing 777 after letting it out of the hangar for its morning run. The 777, named MH370 by its owner, was last spotted leaving the hangar and heading out to the tarmac. At this time, KLIA lost sight of MH370. Any attempts to call MH370 back were fruitless.

NATO Suspends Cooperation with the Russian Government

April 1, 2014

RUSSIA - In response to the continuing reports of Russian troops on the Ukrainian border, NATO has determined that it will suspend “all practical civilian and military cooperation” with Moscow.  The move comes after extended tension between the government of President Vladimir Putin and the West, which has come to a height after Russia’s annexation of the Crimean peninsula in March.  Tensions between Ukrainians and ethnic Russians in the peninsula had been high after the ouster of pro-Russian President Viktor Yanukovych.

Poland: “It’s my time to shine”

The big day is finally here. Poland, who could hardly sleep last night from excitement, woke up early this morning, made itself its own breakfast of Cheerios (though adding banana proved too complicated) and was dressed and ready well before the bus was set to arrive. The occasion? The first stages of a Crimean conflict of course.

“This time I’m going to make the EU so proud of me,” boasted a gleaming Poland as it double-knotted its shoes and made sure to put on extra sunscreen. “It’s my time to shine.”

Extreme Outdoor Inuit Tribe Secures Sponsor for 5,038th Season

Northeast Greenland –-- As the Oodaq tribe prepares for another year of existence, the corporate world takes notice.
 

Israeli Government Shuts Down 'Revenge Prawn' Website

Taking a cue from US action against 'revenge porn' websites, which allow people to post explicit pictures of their former partners without their permission, the Israeli government shut down a notorious 'revenge prawn' website, www.shellfishbitch.com
 

Pakistan to Sell Nuclear Weapons on Craigslist

Experts have alleged that the photographs have been doctored to make the warheads look bigger.

Recent allegations leveled at Pakistan of allowing Saudi Arabia to ‘rent’ its nuclear weapons have been revealed as a part of a wider Pakistani plan to leverage its weaponry in order to raise revenues for its cash-strapped government.

In India, Women Finally Afforded Same Social Status as Cows

After incidents of harassment, brutal sexual assault and victim-blaming left Indians worrying about the status and safety of women in their country, there now appears to be a glimmer of hope on the horizon.

Obama Receives Second Nobel Prize

Oslo—The Norwegian Nobel Committee today announced that American President Barack Obama has been awarded the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize. Obama, who now becomes the first person in history to be named a Peace laureate multiple times, was chosen over a number of other nominees including women’s rights advocate Malala Yousafzai and NSA leaker Edward Snowden.

Nobel Foundation Signs Record-Breaking Contract With Nike

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN—On Tuesday, Nobel Foundation Board Chairman Carl-Henrik Heldin announced a $300 million partnership with Nike. The deal, Heldin said, will give Nike unprecedented merchandising and naming rights in the world’s most prestigious annual awards process.

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Catholics Desperately Seek Excuse Not to Go to Church

In light of Pope Francis’s recent interview with several Jesuit publications, in which he condemned the Church’s intense focus on homosexuality, contraception, and other social issues at the expense of core teachings, Catholics worldwide are dismayed to find themselves without a valid excuse not to go to Sunday Mass.

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