“At first, I started getting a lot of pictures and videos of trees from someone I didn’t know.  But then one day, I saw a picture of a big hairy face” said Veronica Slain of Boulder, CO.  She is one of several people who claim to be receiving messages from “Bigfoot” on the popular smartphone app, Snapchat.  Snapchat is an app that allows users to send pictures or short videos that disappear forever after being viewed by other users.

LOS ANGELES, CA --  News has leaked that pop star Ke$ha held a secret wedding ceremony in Smith Baptist Church located in Scranton, PA, the hometown of her new groom, earlier this week. Court documents show that she is now legally the bride of a mild-mannered male nurse named Kirk Snaught, whom she met at her weekly Lamaze class.

“It’s something I can never explain. We were both not pregnant, both interested in Lamaze for recreational and educational purposes; I mean, I don’t know what it was, but I knew the connection was instant and deep.”

After the People’s Republic of China announced its most recent American knock-off, the Chinese Thanksgiving, the government introduced the holiday’s new signature dish: the Chinese turducken.

However, the worldwide environmental community has expressed outrage after scientists analyzed prototypes of the Chinese turduckens and found traces of Liger, Panda and Snow leopard.

On Thursday, at approximately 3:45 pm, Steve Windgate, age 9, returned home from school with a bloody nose and clothes covered in dirt. Mrs. Windgate, a Women and Gender Studies professor at nearby Galbraith College, immediately rushed to her son to find out what had happened.

            “I got in a fight with some kids at school.”

            Mr. Windgate, ponytail possessor and proprietor of local organic food store ‘Native Sigh’, demanded an explanation for the boy’s behavior.

Do you often notice your gloves getting in the way of everyday activities like gardening, digging graves, and texting your BFF on your smartphone?

Many consumers share the same problem.

- “I had to compromise between holding hands with my best girl and being warm. This is the best of both worlds!” – Ed from Plainfield, Wisconsin, a butcher.

It’s not a hand but it’s not a glove either. IT’S BOTH! 

New Skintimates™ offer a combination of comfort through the hottest new material, you guessed it, human skin.